David McManus says that delivering parcels by drone is just pie in the sky

The various indications that the festive season is upon us once again have become apparent of late.

Traditionally we have the garishly lit houses, the baffling John Lewis advert (if someone you know is alone this Christmas, let them know how much fun you’re having without them) and the X Factor racing to pick a finalist who might have half a chance at a seasonal number one before disappearing without a trace and cropping up in the ad break of next year’s contest, hawking frozen curried vol-au-vent party megapacks for 99p.

To that list of delightful annual treats we can now apparently add absurd claims by Amazon that we can one day look forward to our parcels being delivered by automated drone. Yes, it has been 12 months since the online retailing megacorp last regaled us with Blade Runner-esque vision of a future where the sky is filled with whining contraptions carrying goods to eager, smiling recipients.

This year it has sought to ramp up the credibility of its Amazon Air service by employing Jeremy ‘Between Jobs’ Clarkson to front an advert telling the heartwarming tale of a young girl who can’t play football because the dog has eaten one of her boots.

Bad dog! With barely a moment’s thought her concerned mother knows what to do. A couple of swipes on her tablet – an Amazon Fire, of course – Clarkson tells us that a drone takes off, buzzes its way over fields and delivers a fresh pair of shoes to Dad who is standing around in the garden.

Young Jenny gets to play her match, her parents smugly nod to each other in acknowledgement of their superior parenting skills.

I wish I could understand where Amazon is going with this vision of the future because, take it from me, it ain’t coming any time soon.

There are numerous hurdles to be overcome, both technical and practical, before drone delivery is even remotely feasible (pun intended).

We are shown that the vehicle’s onboard tracking system uses clever ‘sense and avoid’ technology to dodge a nearby hot air balloon but there is a distinct lack of overhead cables which might be somewhat trickier to spot .

It’s also rather fortunate that those football boots are designed with lightness in mind. Fortunately the family’s emergency situation didn’t involved the need for a new car battery.

And all these considerations come after the biggest obstacle that faces Amazon, that of statutory regulation around air safety.

The US government has given the go-ahead for trials to take place in America, but cramped little Britain is a different prospect entirely and the authorities here will be much less open to the idea.

Amazon does at least punctuate its promises with phrases like ‘one day’. But that just indicates to me that what these infomercial visions of tomorrow are really all about is making the company look pioneering and hoping it might encourage you to do your Christmas shopping with them which, for now at least, will be brought to your door by a tired and overburdened human being who probably deserves a good Christmas tip.