David McManus joins up with the family for an early Christmas lunch

Last weekend saw my family’s annual Christmas gathering take place. Amid the festive frivolity and traditional Prosecco consumption contest, it was the ideal opportunity for the designated driver (Yours Truly) to conduct a little social science observation on how a spread of people whose ages range from three to 73 engage with technology.

Truly I am the life and soul of any party.

The first thing that was very apparent is how those of my generation and below always take out their phones and place them on the table in front of them. It’s almost as though they need constant reassurance that the thing they hold most dear is safe and well, while a barely walking toddler roams unseen around other parts of the house.

Of the several phones on show, only one cousin proudly displayed an Android device. Otherwise dotted between the plates and crackers were various persuasions of iPhone.

My daughter was the only teenager at the function and would no doubt have been checking Snapchat, Instagram and Yik Yak every four seconds were it not for the fact that at the end-of-term party the night before her phone had held an impromptu meeting with the floor and its screen now resembled the finest crazy paving. Even so, a million pieces of glass were somehow magically holding together and to my horror I watched her swipe her finger over the tiny shards.

Even the youngest of the clan could be found jabbing a stubby digit at her parent’s phone as some shenanigans involving The Muppets held her attention for longer than I’ve ever seen a young child sit still.

The venue for this year’s event was my eldest cousin’s new house in Ealing which was tucked away down a side road.

Once everyone had arrived and the grand tour had been conducted, conversation inevitably turned to the difficulty everyone seemed to have had in finding the place.

My father waved a wad of printed sheets he had at least sought from Google Maps but others professed their navigational nightmares. One older relative, presumably having set off from the 1980s, had even stopped at a local café to ask for directions – how quaint!

I had driven there via Reading University where I had picked up my daughter. We drove painlessly and directly to my cousin’s front door with scarcely a break in conversation thanks to the invaluable assistance of the Waze app on my phone which, it turns out, had automatically taken us via a slightly indirect route to avoid heavy traffic near town.

After lunch the secret Santas were passed around. Dad excitedly tore the wrapper from his gift to find inside a selfie stick. This might have been an ideal present for someone with his narcissistic tendencies were it not for the fact that his ancient mobile phone sports no front-facing camera. It might double up as a back scratcher, I suppose.

The day ended with my dear aunt gathering us all together for the obligatory family portrait. Puzzled glances were exchanged when she revealed a chunky plastic box which needed winding on before loudly clicking a snap. The youngsters had no idea what was happening.

Families, eh?