There’s nothing like a chat with a fellow allotmenteer to make you feel pathetic.

I was settling down in the pub with pint number three on Saturday when a plot acquaintance caught my eye.

‘Been busy?’, said he. ‘Not really,’ said I. ‘Ah, it’s the best time to get ahead,’ he reckoned.

Really? It’s looked pretty chilly out there today… in fact, it’s looked pretty chilly since September. I think if I wandered up to the allotment in the middle of typhoon there would be a man in shorts ‘getting ahead’.

They say keeping a patch is a great way to get to know like-minded souls. Maybe.

So, my advice would be to boast: ‘To be honest, I start digging in November,’ or ‘I’m thinking of growing pineapples this year.’ Meanwhile, I am delighted to report my worms have survived the winter! The wormery has been wrapped in tatty bath mats to get the blighters through the bitter cold.

And it seems a ‘little-and-often’ approach with food scraps has done the trick — unlike my own similar beachwear diet regime.

Plenty of shredded newspaper helped soak up moisture and my slippery pals seem to be fattening up nicely.

I will be able to tap off some liquid compost to mix into the watering can. It can pong a little, but it’s good stuff.

On the plot, the first clearing sessions of the year have given me a taste for the new season.

There is a decent pile of twigs and dried weeds to set on fire at the weekend.

And when the clocks spring forward there really is no excuse not to get stuck in.

I have this week read some rather laborious and exhaustive explanations on how to dig over the plot.

They have no doubt been tried and tested over many years and probably yield amazing results.

I’m afraid I can’t be bothered. My main concern is giving the manure enough time to break down in the soil and encourage the worms to get busy.

I will — probably in the next couple of weeks — undergo the strain of hiring a hulking rotavator. Two hours shoving one of these machines across the plot is worth a month of gym time. Trust me. But it is worth it. Then we’ll see who’s really ‘getting ahead’.