Chariots and Cherry Pie @ Buckland

With the divorce season of map-reading and holiday driving upon us, I thought it serendipitous to bring Chariots and Cherry Pie to your attention. It’s a new concept in roadside dining that the owners plan to unroll across the country, the first restaurant being in Buckland on the A420 former Little Chef site, the second opening in Grove later this month.

It also means that those of us embarking on the mammoth road trips involved in going away, with their glorious traffic jams, boredom, frustration and arguing, (or is that just us), there is light at the end of the tunnel - somewhere to stop, replenish, regroup and even stock up on some hard earned brownie points, without a service station in sight.

Yes Chariots and Cherry Pie is quite something, an American experience from start to finish, complete with a calorifically awe-inspiring menu, car wash and decor. When we arrived for our test drive my children couldn’t believe their luck, as if expecting John Travolta and Olivia Newton John to bound out at any time.

Their eyes widened even further on perusing the menu from the safety of our bootilicious curved red leather booth inside, and although my arteries checked themselves into the JR as soon as I walked in the door, it was a night to remember. Short of a jukebox and the Pink Ladies, this was as close as they were going to get to Grease and the scene was set.

We started with a ridiculous combination of ‘shakes’ - from the Hershey’s Chocolate and Banoffee Ripple to the Choco-cherry-mallow, Vanilla Oreo and my Peanut Buttella. They hadn’t even placed their straws in their mouths before I’d slurped mine in one - a heady concoction of chocolate ice cream with peanut butter and nutella, topped with whipped cream and chocolate sauce, “That was so good it was worth a week’s worth of calories,” I said, smacking my lips as I placed my empty glass back on the Formica topped table, much to the kids’ amazement. Elvis had nothing on me.

It was an auspicious start to what was to be a total blow out of a meal.

The menu is fun, and caters for everyone, and our order proved that; a Margarita pizza (10 or 12 inch), hotdogs, a half rack of ribs and the piece de resistance; the £25 Empire State burger, more of a challenge than a meal, which we advised my son against but he insisted on. Who can eat three beef patties, six strips of crisp bacon, three slices of Monterey Jack cheese, pulled pork and fried meatloaf in a bun, served with a side of fries, onion rings and coleslaw? Him apparently, although after his milkshake I think he realised the error of his ways, but by then it was too late.

We all laughed in disbelief when it actually arrived and he emitted a nervous giggle like Mr Creosote just before his demise. The stakes were high, let the eating begin.

Even the half rack of ribs were enormous, Jack and The Beanstalk’s giant would have been right at home here I thought as the food piled onto our table and kept on coming. But son number 2 began dutifully gnawing away like a fasting lion on the 5:2 diet, and slowly but methodically ate his way through his meal, leaving a pile of bones Hannibal Lecter would have been proud of.

Meanwhile little progress was being made on the Empire State burger, despite the endless munching and swallowing, nothing seeming able to diminish its size. It was like the Magic Porridge Pot of diner meals, and son number 1 began to look alarmed, sweat breaking out on his upper lip.

The hot dogs were less enjoyable, being more of a tough, almost chorizo style sausage, than the soft New York frankfurter I had been hoping for. There is no polite way to eat them either I noted as fried onions fell out onto my lap for the third time in a row. The chips were more British than American, I was hoping for thinner and crispier to be honest and we left most of them. The coleslaw was horrible, they need to start again with that recipe; and the two veggie options - a large mushroom or a chickpea burger sounded a bit weird, a meat alternative with all the trimmings would be more amenable.

Price wise though, a basic hotdog and/or burger with chips and coleslaw was £10 which I didn’t think was bad considering most places these days make you order your extras on the side and pay for them separately.

But combined with the onion rings, coleslaw, courgette fritters with basil mayo and endless condiments and finger bowls, our table soon resembled a frat party, so that we could barely see each other.

Arriving families and couples gazed in disbelief at our feast, and as our stomachs swelled and our appetites diminished, so the conversation slowed until we sat in a stupefied awe, our Empire State contestant failing dismally, and finally admitting defeat, although Mr Greedy benefited from the ensuing doggy bag.

Even mentioning pudding was met with blank eyes. “Does anyone manage dessert?” I asked our waiter as he cleared our table? “A few brave souls, but not many,” he admitted.

Chariots and Cherry Pie needs some tweaking, more burger choices for example, some portion control, healthy food options, different coleslaw, but if this is the future of roadside dining, it’s a vast improvement on what we’ve got already. All Chariots and Cherry Pie needs now is a running track around the outside to burn off all the calories you’ve just ingested. God bless America.

Chariots and Cherry Pie
A420, Buckland, near Faringdon, Oxon SN7 8PY 
0333 121 0066 
chariotsandcherrypie.co.uk

Opening times: Mon to Thurs: 7.30am-8.30pm; Fri to Sat: 7.30am-10pm; Sun: 7.30am-7pm.
Parking: Lots and you can get your car washed at the same time
Key personnel: Claire and Jonathan Hilsdon — owners and founder. Buckland manager: Candee Chivers
Make sure you try the... Breakfast, served from 8am till 5pm. Includes: French toast £6 (farmhouse loaf bread coated in egg, cooked in a beurre noisette, served with streaky strips and maple syrup); Eggs benedict Your Way £6 (Choose from Blackstone-streaky strips, Florentine spinach, Royale-smoked salmon, all finished with hollandaise sauce); Granola £3 (Toasted American oat nuggets, pecans and dried cranberries with maple syrup and Greek yoghurt); Fruit Bowl £4 (Seasonal and exotic fruits served with Greek yoghurt or clear honey); their signature Buttermilk Stack of small and hot pancakes coated in sugar dust, with maple syrup on the side. Choose from fruit (blueberry or strawberry), Hershey pancakes (crumbled Hershey chocolate bar); original pancakes (streaky strips and maple syrup) or Oreo cookie pancake (smashed oreo cookies).
In ten words: An American-style life-saver when you’re on the road