One Million Tiny Plays About Britain

Watermill, Newbury

Before the Advertising Standards Authority ramps up an enquiry, let’s make it plain that the title One Million Tiny Plays About Britain is just a tiny, weeny bit of an exaggeration.

Craig Taylor originally wrote 94 compact plays about Britain for publication in The Guardian, and director Laura Keefe has selected about 30 of them for this premiere stage adaptation at the Watermill – the production then tours to Bampton, Brill, Chipping Norton, and Wantage.

But even though there are only 30 mini-plays, author Taylor covers plenty of ground. It’s evident from the start that he has a sharp ear and eye for the foibles of British life. The plays on offer run all the way from the downright funny to the poignantly sad, and there is some sharp comment on the social media age too – at the start of the show, a neighbour in the Watermill audience, busy stabbing at her mobile, entirely failed to notice Jean and her friend Joyce - who comes complete with a deep voice and an improbable wig – glaring disdainfully at her from the side aisle. Jean and Joyce turned out to be the show’s two actors.

“A tick is not a cross,” snaps an official as she points crossly at a proffered form in one of the plays, set in an immigration office in Croydon. Meanwhile, across town a staid mother and daughter have gone to 30 per cent off day at Debenhams, and they bag an improbable bargain. “This table is made of real wood – and you get a free biscuit,” explains a rail passenger, extolling the virtues of travelling first class.

Besides government offices, shops, and trains, playwright Taylor has obviously spent plenty of time in catering establishments. We meet two ladies exchanging views in a genteel tea shop: whose turn is it to pay the bill, that’s the vexed question. Much more sadly, a divorcing couple discuss the future over a restaurant dinner: the pregnant pauses between their sentences are expertly judged, and painful to observe. At the other extreme, you can almost smell the fetid atmosphere at a debauched Newcastle hen party.

Actors Emma Barclay and Alec Nicholls switch characters, clothes, and regional accents with impressive speed and aplomb – some of the plays only run for a couple of minutes before the next change is due.

This show makes no pretensions towards great theatrical art, and some of the plays work better than others. But you will surely find scenes that resonate with you here – and your funny bone will be well tickled too.

Giles Woodforde 4/5

* Continues at the Watermill, Newbury, until April 23, then touring.