A matter of taste

1:09pm Friday 20th April 2007

I have to admit that there is no escaping the fact that I am a grumpy (still-quite-young!) woman. My grumpiness is all to do with wine tastings. Not the tastings themselves. No, they're great. They're a fantastic opportunity to taste new things, learn plenty and generally add to your wine knowledge. No gripes there.

Rather, it is the people who go to them, or indeed organise them that are the source of my current irritation.

Lets start with spittoon-huddlers'. This particularly annoying group hang round spittoons, chit-chatting, a little like school bullies used to loiter round the water fountain to scare off thirsty swots. It is pretty tricky to ask them to move out of the way when you're swirling a mouthful of wine, so you invariably end up having to hunt down and walk to the less conveniently situated spittoon to deposit your mouthful of wine.

Then there's the It's faulty! It's definitely faulty' brigade. This group seem to spend their entire time rooting out faulty wine. There's generally such a hullabaloo when they have sniffed out their find that you'd think they had unearthed £10m of gold bullion.

However, it is important for these people to make as much noise about it as possible so their status as a very knowledgeable taster is confirmed to everyone in the room.

You start to dislike this band of fault-finders fast. If you've already tasted the wine, knew it was faulty but chose to keep it to yourself, you're annoyed for not having had the courage of your convictions - and so missed your opportunity to be the knowledgeable one.

Worse still, you've tasted it, missed the fault and written a tasting note along the lines of best wine of the tasting so far, nine-out-of-ten'.

And there is always the inevitable question, "anyone find any other faulty wines?"

This is the ultimate nightmare. If you don't answer, you're conceding you think the rest are fine and when another three duff bottles are revealed your status as chief chump is confirmed.

You can of course take the plunge and declare some rusty old red as being a bit off'. As sure as eggs are eggs, that is the top-notch vintage Burgundy that everyone else is going to be buying by the bucket-load tomorrow. Great!

Taste, as defined by Chambers is a small portion; an experience; discernment of' Nowhere in my dictionary or thesaurus does it refer to free drink'. It is not that I don't share the enthusiasm for the product or indeed lack the understanding of just how enticing some wines can be, but it is the rather clumsy attempts to disguise the hunt for one glass more that are so revolting.

For instance: "Oh, I hadn't realised I'd just tried that wine already . . . oh well, mustn't waste it, must we?!" or "Just grabbing another glass for my friend who I know will really want to try it"

And then the brisk walk to the corner of the room to try and swig it back as anonymously as possible. Most people showing these wines are just thrilled the wines are liked. What would be so bad about saying "Isn't that great? Would you mind if I had a little more?" Easy!

A badly organised tasting is both time-wasting and frustrating as it invariably means that the wines on show will lose out.

The reasonably recent Cava Now tasting was a case in point. The (display!) wines were all beautifully laid out on a long table in the middle of the room.

Fine, but not a single bottle was open. This was because, all the (tasting) wines were crammed into ice buckets on a teeny table at the top of the room that nobody - not even the size zeros - could access. If that wasn't bad enough, the wines were not numbered and not even displayed in the order given on the tasting sheet. Taste the cava disintegrated into hunt the cava.

I tasted some fine wines that day but as none of the accompanying paper work listed outlets or retail prices, I couldn't confidently make a recommendation knowing that the right note was married up to the right wine. Not good.

Still, when the paths to the spittoons are clear; the fault-fanatics are lying low; the tasters are discerning and the organisation is good, there is nothing like a jolly good wine tasting to lift the spirits.

John Gordons (www.johngordons.org.uk 01242 245985 ) is a new independent wine merchant based in Cheltenham which delivers free of charge into Oxfordshire and whose recent tasting was a delight.

The venue was small, the wines kept to a manageable 50 or so, the tasting sheet well laid out and the staff charming. Perfect.

And, most importantly of all, the wines weren't too shabby either. (We did find one dodgy bottle, but it was identified and replaced as discreetly as one might remove the traces of your live-in lover when your parents come to stay.) So, to soothe away all feelings of grumpiness, here are some highlights from that tasting.

Petit Bourgois 2005, Domaine Henri Bourgeois (£6.34 ex-vat) is a 100 per cent sauvignon blanc from Sancerre with a striking nose of blackcurrant leaves and citrus. The palate is surprisingly rich and laden down with zesty, citrus fruits. Perfect balance and a good, long length - perfect!

If you're after something unique, I can recommend the utterly delicious La Vigne de l'Oubli 2003 (£7.80 ex-vat) from Domaine d'Escausses in Gaillac.

A barrel-fermented blend of sauvignon blanc, mauzac and muscadelle, it is bone-dry with distinctive herbal and pine nut notes, blended with spicy fruits.

Cadet de Gascogne 2005 (£4.80 ex-vat) from Château d'Aydie is a cheerful little number with chocolate and pepper-infused black fruits. It's got plenty of oomph and character for a wine of this price.

The Chilean's have rather stolen the Argentinean's thunder with the cracking La Secreto Malbec 2005 (£6.50 ex-vat).

Rich and spicy with a palate that has more than the suggestion of your mum's best fruit cake, this is pretty refined stuff. Lovely!