The season five finale of The Walking Dead aired this week, climaxing with more of the relentless bloodshed to which we’ve become accustomed. But it made us wonder – over the last 67 episodes has there been any method to the zombie madness? Is there a brand of human flesh they’re most fond of?

***WARNING: THE FOLLOWING ARTICLE CONTAINS SPOILERS UP TO AND INCLUDING SEASON FIVE***

Walking Dead cast
Based on age, gender and ethnicity, which of these actors has the best job security? (Andy Kropa/Invision)

To work out the likelihood of death during AMC’s zombie apocalypse, we looked at the survival rate of all 56 named characters who were either part of Rick’s group or strongly allied with the group’s members.

The actual length of survival was measured by episodes – from their first appearance to their death. Which means our tallies reflect the whims of the show’s writers rather than the imagined world of the apocalypse itself.

So who tends to wind up as zombie chow first?

Ethnicity

One of the reasons we started looking into the walkers’ eating habits was that throughout season five almost every major character who met a grisly end was African-American – first Bob’s foot, then Bob himself, then Tyreese, and finally hapless Noah.

Which made us ask the question: Are the Walking Dead zombies racist? Well yes, but not how we expected…

Snappa graphic showing Walking Dead zombie survival rates

However part of this might be because the Walking Dead universe is a far whiter world than real-life Georgia (where almost all of the action takes place). So we compared the ethnic breakdown of Georgia today and post-zombie apocalypse Georgia.

Snappa graphic showing Walking Dead zombie survival rates
Snappa graphic showing Walking Dead zombie survival rates

And actually most of the “baddies” tend to be white too, so those figures should probably be even more skewed.

Also let’s be clear, when it comes to Rick’s group in the show “Latino” means Rosita and “other” means Glenn – so if we worked out the average survival rates for those groups it would be very impressive indeed.

Gender

Next question then, are the walkers sexist? Before we did the calculations we would have put our money on blokes winding up dead more often than the women. Turns out we were right.

Snappa graphic showing Walking Dead zombie survival rates

But again the demographic breakdown of Rick’s group (and the wider post-apocalyptic world) is not very representative of modern Georgia, where women are marginally in the majority.

Snappa graphic showing Walking Dead zombie survival rates
Snappa graphic showing Walking Dead zombie survival rates

So gender equality seems to be an issue even after a global zombie infestation. Although we reckon the likes of katana-wielding Michonne and kill-anyone Carol make great apocalyptic feminist role models.

Age

And finally, does a certain age group fare worst in the zombie apocalypse? We split our zombie survivors (very roughly, based mostly on physical appearance rather than explicit statements of their age during the show) into six categories.

Interestingly, there were none at all in their early to mid fifties.

Snappa graphic showing Walking Dead zombie survival rates

So there you have it. Even though the sprightly 20s and 30s groups tend to put themselves in the walkers’ sights more often, it’s the young and the old they’re supposed to be protecting that end up on as zombie feed more often.

The fact that feckless teens do less well than younger children is telling – and perhaps suggests claiming your “independence” can be lethal during an apocalypse. Meanwhile the older folks seem to do even worse than the youngsters. Wisdom clearly counts for nothing when these flesh-eating monsters are involved.

The comparison with modern Georgia confirms just how far the balance is tipped against the young and the old in The Walking Dead.

Snappa graphic showing Walking Dead zombie survival rates
Snappa graphic showing Walking Dead zombie survival rates

So there you have it. If you want to survive in The Walking Dead it’s best to be a black woman in your 20s. Of course this could all change when Sasha and Michonne get devoured in the first episode of season six…