First Person: ‘Molly was missing from scene’

It started as a throwaway comment. A friend suggested that we organise our own gay night, after a somewhat deflated night out at one of Oxford’s LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) venues. It was an idea that stuck.

We talked to other friends – gay men and women – and they were as enthusiastic as us. Our group came together through a strong, shared feeling that something big was missing from our experience of living in Oxford.

We wanted to stop moaning about the Oxford scene – and just jumping on the coach to London to experience something better. We wanted to bring a little bit of what we’ve loved elsewhere here to where we live. Or to bring back some of what this city once had, but seems to have lost.

I moved to Oxford five years ago and have heard tales of the Gay and Lesbian Community Centre that was once in the Northgate Hall, the Coven’s gay nights on Sundays and Tuesdays – it sounded like a thriving scene with a palpable sense of community.

We wondered where this had gone – and hoped we could bring a little bit of that back.

We knew from the start we wanted to use the word queer to describe our night. It embraces the whole spectrum of sexualities and genders which we would love to feel comfortable at Molly: gay, lesbian, bisexual, questioning, asexual, gender-queer, trans, intersex… And we knew we wanted to be clear from the start that we were building a place that is for queer people, not a queer space that is for everyone.

There are endless pubs and clubs where straight people can have a great time and meet people, and we love going to those places. But they are not places we can always be our whole selves or where we are likely to pull. So even in these days of increased legal rights it feels important to me have a separate space where we can be with people who have a shared identity and people can meet one another. Equally, just as dating websites and apps can give us the impression of being more connected than ever to people that share our identity; in my experience they can often make us feel further apart.

So why ‘Molly’? It’s a female name and a slice of forgotten gay male, cross-dressing history. Back in the 18th century ‘Molly Houses’ were places where gay and cross-dressing men could meet and socialise together. There were marriage ceremonies and birth-giving rituals.

We found it fascinating. Too often queer history is unseen or forgotten. It often feels like being attracted to people of the same gender was an idea no one had thought of until Oscar Wilde took a shine to Lord Alfred Douglas.

The truth is, of course, that there has always been same-sex attraction, and in all parts of the world. So digging up a little bit of our history makes us feel rooted in a rich tradition of subversion, community and debauchery in the face of oppression.

Our launch night has now come and gone. To our amazement, we completely sold out – a sure sign of how hungry LGBT people in Oxford are for something different.

We now have our eyes firmly set on our next venture, ‘Molly goes to Pride’, this Saturday as part of the Oxford Pride celebrations.

We are incredibly lucky to have secured the beautiful basement of Modern Art Oxford and we’ll have The Lipsinkers (alternative drag lip-synchers who have been going down a storm in gay venues across London) performing for us.

If this sounds like the night for you – we’ll see you on the dance floor.

See mollyoxford.co.uk for more information