John Taylor was healthy and active before illness robbed him of life's simple pleasures. COLIN O'TOOLE reports on a self-help group that could relieve the burden of sufferers and their children

"You have got a hangover. You have just run a marathon and you have got flu. How do you feel?"

Sporting stubble, jogging pants and trainers, John Taylor really does look like that's just what he has done. And he wants me to understand just how rough he is feeling -- but not because he has just returned from some epic pub crawl.

"This is a very clever illness. The best word I have found for it is chimeral because it is constantly shifting," said the 40-year-old former university lecturer who now has ME.

"I used to be very active. I could play squash at a very high level and was a member of the Celtic youth team. Ninety per cent of the time now my body feels like I have gone to the gym and overdone it.

"I do not bother telling people what is going on in my life because they get tired of listening. Still, it is important that people ask how you are, not because you are looking for sympathy but because you need to be understood.

More properly known as chronic fatigue syndrome, the condition now qualifies for state benefits. But some experts claim its causes are psychological rather than physical.

After 11 years in which the illness has swallowed up his job and his burgeoning photographic career, John is acutely aware that his pain is very real. He is not the only one.

Louise, 31, reckons she has been illegally discriminated against since deciding to return to work since collapsing with the illness two years ago. "I got a job hands-down at interview, but then it took them eight weeks to turn me down. I just have to make the decision now whether my health is up to fighting it."

Kate, 46, has a different kind of problem. It is a year since her 13-year-old son came down with a collection of symptoms from headaches and insomnia to severe leg pains that eventually resulted in his withdrawing from school.

"I tell him 'you are getting better in six months'," she said. "It could be that I am telling him a lie, but what else do you do with a 13-year-old?"

Though their situations are different, John, Louise and Kate draw strength from each other as members of the Enfield Area ME Self-Help Group -- soon to be renamed to reflect the fact that one-third of its 150 members come from the borough of Barnet.

"What you really need is someone who is going to realise that you may look okay but today you are just not going to do it," said Louise.

Next month it will be holding a meeting in Barnet, as well as launching a support group for the children of sufferers.

Group members, who help with administration and organisation, want to hear from anyone who would help by becoming a committee member. For details call Sarah Litchfield-Brown on 0181 373 6298.

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