I was hoarse by10.30am, within seconds of our two-man inflatable tipping over the edge of a plastic precipice, only to resurrect itself opposite for more of the same.

It was followed by a knuckle-clenching ride down tubes, shoots, torrents, whirlpools, slides, a black hole and a bamboo water track that juddered and sprayed you within an inch of you life before unceremoniously dumping you in another pool, and so it went on.

After 18 rides,in which my body zoomed, raced, twisted and turned through various water tubes, inside and out, up and down, round and round until I was hoarse, then stunned into silence. Wonderful stuff.

But then Blackpool’s Sandcastle Water Park is the UK’s biggest and a perfect way to spend a wet, rainy morning with your children, my teenagers screaming as loudly as my 10 year-old.

It turned out to be just a warm up, because from there we went straight over the road to The Pleasure Beach, Blackpool’s notorious theme park, whose rollercoasters grace the skyline, its riders’ screams heard as far as the North Pier.

And here my vocal cords eventually gave up altogether as I gave my body over to extreme hedonism, attempting every ride going. By the end I still hadn’t learnt my lesson, believing I was past further thrills, until I dropped 210ft out of the sky at 80mph on the Ice Blast and was unable to produce a single sound, despite my heart being left at the top.

You can’t have any more fun in a day – boasting the largest number of roller coasters in the UK (10). When it opened in 1994, the Big Dipper (Pepsi Max) was the tallest and fastest in the world. It was also the steepest, with an incline angle of 65° and one of the longest, measuring 5,497 feet (1,675 m), with a first drop of 205ft. I did it twice. Add short queues, cheap prices and you can see why Pleasure Beach was voted in the top 10 theme parks in Europe recently.

Children and teenagers forgot technology existed for the whole weekend as they bucketed out of the sky at 170miles an hour, screeching like the seagulls circling above them, as they plummet towards the sea or rise up towards the clouds.

Make sure you stay in the Big Blue Hotel which sugar- coats the transition with its own gate into the Pleasure Beach, wristbands applied at reception, and four stars with which to ease your stay.

Accommodation includes

well-thought through family rooms, with bunk beds complete with their own screens in the wall, and inter-linking suites for bigger parties.

Not that you spend much time there, Blackpool offering up so many possibilities. We had dinner in Las Iguanas, one of the many new restaurants opening up in Blackpool.

Sunday was more leisurely and as the sun was out and the beach was recently awarded its first ever Blue Flag, we strolled leisurely down the promenade between the three piers, full of holiday-makers enjoying the rides and arcades.

Heading for the recently renovated Blackpool Tower we watched a 4D film before heading to the top to stand on the glass floors, trying not to wince as we gazed 518ft down to the pavements below. Built in 1894, it’s amazing to think how Blackpool has evolved over the past century, from its grand heyday when the world and its wife flocked to its ballrooms, beaches, and amusements, through its decline when competing with package holidays and far climes, to its recent massive retro renaissance.

It remains resolutely dedicated to adrenaline, fun and holidays, defiantly drumming a very patriotic British tune, your trip comes complete with donkey rides on the beach, fish and chips, candy floss and fun fairs. A whirly gig of unapologetic pleasure.

Other options include Madame Tussauds, Sea World, Blackpool Zoo which we mulled over in Harry Ramsden’s new restaurant, eating delicious fish and chips.

Exhausted, satiated and united we returned triumphant from Blackpool. An unmitigated success. Just don’t ask me to talk about it. I can’t; I have no vocal cords left. But with a new £16.25m double-launched roller coaster ride Icon opening at Pleasure Beach next spring, they’ll need to recover soon.