Butlins, Bognor Regis: It's cool for kids

“I was hoping for a bit more Hola! than Hi de Hi!” he admitted. “Dunno if I fancy roughing it at a holiday camp.”

I told him that Butlin’s wasn’t a ‘camp’ anymore. It was a ‘resort’ – and it had probably changed a bit since he went there as a child.

What’s more Bognor was now officially the warmest place in Britain.

“Mmmmm” , he murmured, unconvinced.

He still wasn’t convinced when I explained we would be staying in one of the two flagship Butlin’s hotels – with all mod cons…including flat screen TVs.

Even so, we set off, in the first week of the summer holidays, with a packed car, some mixed expectations – and two very excited little girls.

After a couple of hours fielding off questions of “how many more miles?” (and not just from the kids) we arrived and were shown into the resort by a young smiley, female Redcoat, who looked nothing like Ruth Madoc, much to the hubby’s surprise.

We would meet a lot more Redcoats during our stay and I never saw one who wasn’t smiling. (Although personally the thought of wearing wide legged, unflattering cream trousers every day would make me very down in the mouth.) As we drove in I pointed out the first of two Butlin’s Hotels, the Ocean, which would have looked at home on any Spanish coastline.

‘Im indoors’ just shrugged.

We were staying at the Shoreline Hotel, which looked equally impressive.

Inside, we were greeted warmly with drinks and oodles of info on the hotel and what we could do during our week at Butlin’s.

And when we got to our ‘quarters’ – all the hotels have a marine theme – the hubby warmed up a bit.

The little ones had their own room with bunk beds, TV and DVD player, while we had a large and very comfy looking bed, leather armchairs, TV, kettle, mini fridge and bathroom.

Everything was very high spec and modern and as we were on the ground floor we also had a terrace with patio table and chairs.

After unpacking we ventured out to explore and found we were literally yards away from the huge tented area – the pavilion – which houses all the main attractions, including stages, restaurants, bars and a mini funfair.

The children were in their element from the start.

As the prime time television adverts indicate, Butlin’s has undergone quite a transformation in the last decade or so.

The place was spotless, the gardens manicured, and it was busy, but didn’t feel packed.

Our first stop was the jaw-dropping pool complex, complete with pools, water jets, bubble baths and slides which shoot you through the air every which way.

They even have a two-person dinghy ride which shoots you through tubes lining the roof of the complex.

When we eventually dragged the children out of there (several hours later), we went off to explore some more and bumped into a few ‘people’ we knew; Popular children’s characters frequent the resort, posing for pictures and also appearing in excellent shows at three show bar venues.

Bob the Builder, Angelina Ballerina and Butlin’s own Billy Bear were just a few of many well known faces who held the children captivated.

We adults were impressed by an animatronic dinosaur that appeared one day – complete with his ‘keeper’ who gave a detailed talk on his life and habits.

And the children spent almost half an hour sitting still one day thanks to the theatre version of the kids’ show Lazy Town.

We were blessed with great weather during our stay at Butlin’s, (which I took total credit for), but it is very much designed to offer entainment, whatever the British weather wants to throw at you – and invariably does.

Underneath the huge pavilion are bars and restaurants, shops and a stage area providing a constant stream of entertainment.

It’s noisy and fun but there are also lots of places on the resort where you can chill out and just watch the world go by.

Fun though, is the name of the game, and there is also a larger funfair, crazy golf, an aerial adventure, including climbing wall and zip wire. One morning we explored the sprawling resort with a family cycle – the hubby and I pedalling madly in front while the kids shouted encouragement and laughed their heads off behind. We found you could even cool off by pedalling through the fountain area – although I don’t know if this was allowed! Food-wise, most people seemed to opt for a catered stay, enjoying huge buffet breakfasts and dinners as part of their breaks and if I was booking myself, this would definitely be my preferred option as not only is it easier, it probably works out cheaper.

Cheaper still, though, would be self-catering and there are plenty of apartments on offer with fully equipped kitchens.

In the hotels there were trendy, family friendly restaurants, where you could also enjoy character meals, visited by Billy Bear and pals.

While in the pavilion there were the usual range of food outlets, including Burger King and Pizza Hut.

And the family pub, surrounded by landcaped gardens and children’s play area was also a nice place to sit, while the children enjoyed themselves. As you might expect, the food was pretty ‘fast’, in most places , but if like us you didn’t want to eat chips every day, there were other options and at lunchtimes we usually bought sandwiches and fruit from the excellent on-site supermarket.

The supermarket also saved our bacon for a different reason one night when our five year-old developed a high temperature.

Even though it was 1am, the helpful staff on our hotel front desk arranged for someone to open up the store and sell me some Calpol.

That earned maximum marks from a pretty stressed out mum!

Asked for their highlights of the trip, our children could not choose between the dazzling nightly shows, the visit to Billy Bear’s Bedroom in the hotel (for a bedtime story) or the chance to ride a traditional fairground horses carousel as many times as they liked – for free.

All this of course with as much ice cream as they could eat, later bedtimes and their very own TV in their room.

Half way through the week, as we watched the girls learn cheer leading skills from the Redcoats, I asked the hubby if he was enjoying himself. I have to admit it’s not at all what I thought it would be,” he admitted.

“We’ll have to come here again.”

Enough said.