Classic ghost story Oh Whistle And I’ll Come To You, My Lad by MR James never fails to leave either its readers or viewers – if you’re a fan of the two BBC adaptations – both horrified and deeply disturbed.

And couldn’t the same be said of today’s disturbing but true revelation that the John Radcliffe Hospital has issued referee-style plastic whistles to its staff so they can call for help during emergencies?

Indeed, so horrifying has the situation actually become that hospital staff contacted the Oxford Mail directly to vent their concern and anger.

Hard as it may be to believe, in this the 21st century, the JR is currently without any unified emergency call system in its operating theatres; a fact embarrassed hospital bosses admitted to the Mail last night. Although of course they were quick to point out that a solution is just round the corner – the Oxford University Hospitals trust, which runs the JR, said it had held meetings last week to address the problem.

Not that this is going to reassure any patients and their relatives who are scheduled to be operated on this week, for as one hospital source told the Mail: “Our biggest fear is that someone will leave the room to go and get help, and the patient will die waiting.”

It seems astonishing in a hospital which purports to represent the very best in patient treatment and care, a system as laughable as this has been accepted. The irony being, quite clearly, that it’s no laughing matter.

Sadly, the whistles aren’t even state-of-the-art or high-performance. Instead, according to a hospital insider, they are little more than ‘bog standard’.

Which just about – but not quite – sums up the hospital’s response to this farcical situation.