It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas goes the song, and that’s certainly true now we’ve slipped through the door of October.

Every year, like a bladder of Aswan Dam proportions bursting, a flood of Yuletide greetings gushes through my email.

Which means, since last Monday, more than 70 emails of seasonal cheer have brought light and understanding to my office.

Some have even made me cry:

  • There’s no denying that a sweeper might not seem the most glamorous Christmas gift this year
  • Launched for Christmas, an innovative and inspirational play experience based on a cardboard box
  • Victorian-style fireplace has seasonal sparkle
  • Luxury writing instruments manufacturer may just have the solution to solve your Christmas present panic
  • Great value and quality make stunning knives a cutting-edge must-have for foodies
  • Those holidaying in an exotic destination can also make savings to put towards that naughty and nice Christmas list
  • Nothing says I love you like a psychic consultation And I’m not exaggerating when I say these were among some of the more enlightening.

Last year, for instance – I kid you not – I got an email from a company offering “a classic family Christmas with our new limited edition set of fresh pine toilet cleaners...”

Warms the cockles doesn’t it, reminding us all just how far the miracle of Bethlehem can stretch.

Of course, people celebrate Christmas in many different ways, and just because I can’t envisage a Yuletide celebration of love and hope while gathered round a toilet bowl, doesn’t mean someone, somewhere isn’t touched by this thought.

One thing is for sure, however, Christmas doesn’t spell happiness for everyone, and I will certainly be saying a prayer this week for those shop assistants who, through no fault of their own, will have to endure Wham, Johnny Mathis, Perry Como and Slade, day in, day out, over the next 10 weeks until Cliff Richard adds yet another new hit to this canon of Christmas classics.

Apart from that, I have no intention of mentioning the ‘C’ word again until December 20 (my last column before the big day) In the meantime, you might like to consider the following calendar entry: October 31. Halloween. My birthday (but please, no gifts this year, just money) Since August, I have also received an eclectic collection of correspondence extolling the virtues of the undead, including:

  • A spooktacular ice rink and scary experience in the rainforest will be beckoning thrill-seekers to the Eden Project
  • Head to Sarasota, Florida, this Halloween for an unforgettable haunted history tour at the Historic Spanish Point
  • Have a ‘fright night’ with your friends and family this Halloween at Poundland Frankly, I can’t wait until Easter.