Five years ago, a survey conducted by the national newspaper, Gay Times, found that Oxford was ‘the ninth gayest place in the UK’ — with the amount of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people living here.

There are pubs, bars and club nights that cater for the local gay population, plus two universities with their own LGBT societies — so it is clear that Oxford recognises and respects its gay community better than some other cities.

Nevertheless, Oxford is no Brighton, London or Manchester. It can still be a difficult place for some people to come to terms with their sexuality especially if being part of the local ‘gay scene’ does not appeal.

Some may feel intimidated if they are not part of the crowd, and with the closure of the city’s gay community centre in 2005, plus a number of gay social clubs folding - help and advice can seem hard to find. An organisation called Oxford Friend has been running a telephone helpline service for three nights a week since 1980, offering information, support and impartial advice regarding gay issues. An e-mail counselling service is also available, which is staffed by a team of trained volunteers. It is funded by an annual grant from Oxford City Council, as well as various donations and fundraising events, such as the raffle at this year’s Oxford Pride event in July.

“We receive calls on such things as coming out, safe sex, and relationships; and we also give information about the gay scene in Oxford. People can also access other helplines and organisations nationwide through us, which focus on more specific problems, if Friend volunteers can’t help,” says Patrick Lavelli, who has been volunteering there for a year.

Oxford Friend focus is on non-directive counselling and support, and often the success of a phone call to Friend is difficult to measure until it has ended.

The opportunity for callers to talk about their problems, if not to find a definite answer to them, proves the most helpful aspect of the calls.

This is also true of e-mails, where the service user has an opportunity to write down and consider thoughts and concerns before submitting them to Friend.

One service user commented: “Thanks a lot, I felt much better after ‘talking’ to you. I was really stuck before, and now I can see where to move.” This view shows the potential for someone with sexual identity issues to look at a life situation from a different point of view, with the help of impartial advice.

Oxford Friend can be contacted by phone on 01865 726893 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays between 7 and 9pm, and also by e-mail at confidential@oxfordfriend.co.uk. Alternatively, you can a letter — addressed to Oxford Friend, PO Box 137, East Oxford DO, Oxford, OX4 2WL. The website, which includes details about donation and volunteering opportunities, is at www.oxfordfriend.co.uk To contribute to this column contact Oxfordshire Community and Voluntary Action by email at voluntary voice@ocva-org.uk