Jaine Blackman reads a relationship manual unafraid to bare its teeth

Did you have a rubbish Valentine’s Day? If you felt like you got more affection from your pet than your partner, there might be a reason for that, according to Oxford relationship coach Annie Kaszina.

After a painful break-up, Annie decided that instead of repeating what didn’t work and looking for a man to make her life right, she’d take the time and trouble to discover what she was doing that wasn’t working — and change it.

The moment of truth came for Annie when her long-term partner demanded she choose between him and their pet and, without hesitation, she picked the dog.

So her relationship ended and she set out on a crusade to turn her life around and help others do the same. She’s now written a book — Do You Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband? — to pass on what she has found.

Subtitled And How to Avoid the Jerks, Creeps and Players, it offers tools, and techniques to help women get the “Aha” moment that she did.

“Human beings aren’t stupid. We all know what we should be doing,” says Annie. “The trick is to bridge that gap so that people feel happy and confident, spontaneously and wholeheartedly doing the thing they once thought they couldn’t do, but should be doing.” According to the book, on the whole that does seem to mean making the decision to dump the mutt — sorry, I mean the man — if you’ve got one who doesn’t measure up.

It’s something that Annie herself has done with both human and canine companions. (In fact, there are a good few tips for what to avoid when choosing your dog too!) There are a few instances mentioned when a relationship has been improved through self-awareness, but there are far more when it’s just a case of women getting the confidence to finish a relationship which clearly isn’t good for them. Plus tips for not making the same mistakes when choosing a new partner.

It is very geared towards women — hardly surprising as Annie specialises in helping females with their relationships.

Taking the plunge to end her own long-term relationship certainly worked for Annie, who says she now has a loving partner. In her book she tells of many intelligent, attractive women (there don’t seem to be any stupid, ugly or even plain and ordinary ones but perhaps that’s all part of the empowerment message) who have followed her lead and are happier for it.

As well as advice and examples, the book provides questions for readers to consider. If you think your relationship is on shaky ground they may well be worth taking a look at. But if you know that, you probably know the answer already.

Download a free chapter at ChooseYourMan.com/chap