FOUR STARS

 

"Stop me if you’ve heard this before,” says one of the residents of Stollberg Hall, a retirement home for old theatrical performers — and before he can continue the whole roomful of his housemates chorus: “Stop!”

From memory, the bore of a raconteur was former stand-up comedian Brian Bean (Bobby Bennett), but it might have been any of the other ex-thesps present, the most likely alternative suspect being the garrulous James Johnson (Darren Nesbitt), whose tedious remarks are shared between himself and his new ventriloquist’s dummy.

You eventually gain the impression that all of the many characters in There’s No Place Like A Home (written and directed by Paul Elliott) have been getting on each other’s nerves for quite a while, except for the somewhat lonely newcomer, Ellen (Jill Freud).

There is a serious risk, of course, that they might start getting on the nerves of the audience as well. But we Mill at Sonning regulars are an easy-going lot: after a delicious dinner prepared by chef Wayne Hawes and his team, we are prepared to view with a generous tolerance what is laid before us for entertainment. This applies even when it is supplied by a bunch of elderly and exasperating troupers — I refer to the characters, not the actors! — involved in a story of rich absurdity.

The drama begins in earnest when financial expert John Brotherston (Mark Hammersley), son of the urbane Kevin Brotherston (Geoffrey Davies), arrives with the news that the trust fund that keeps Stollberg Hall in business has gone pear-shaped. To avoid eviction, Kevin and his fellow residents must themselves buy the freehold.

But how to raise the money . . . A bright idea is supplied by Bobby Dalton (Michael Walter), who is what might be called a seasonal worker in showbiz as a pantomime pal of Snow White. Dopey he ain’t though, for his criminal wheeze appears likely to deliver the goods.

This involves the capture of a celebrity — I won’t massage his already inflated ego by saying who — and then demand from a loved one a large ransom. Given the identity of the victim, incidentally, you might marvel that anyone would wish to pay.

To add to the fun of what occurs with the “geriatric Ocean’s Eleven” — as one of the gang (Barry Howard) styles them — is a sub-plot involving pneumatic care assistant Millie (Emily McMorrough). This hinges on her previous acquaintance with the Old Bill, as represented in the character of Det Insp Powell.

For those nearing retirement age themselves — that’s me, folks! — it raises a smile that he is played by Peter Byrne, whom we remember as the face for so many years of Dixon of Dock Green’s son-in-law, Andy Crawford.

 

The Mill at Sonning
Until May 18
0118 969 8000
millatsonning.com