Blackpool Rocks

And considering we had few expectations it blew us away. But my children summed it up far better than me. My four-year-old could only sob “I want to go back,” when we got home on Sunday night and my teenage boys agreed: “It was pretty epic mum. I mean how much fun can you have in two days?”

Lots as it turned out, from dusk ‘til dawn. It may not be the prettiest place on earth but Blackpool has got entertainment running through its veins and we made full use of it. As a family holiday you couldn’t fault it.

And yet when I mentioned where we were going, people were very, well, snobby about it. “Don’t expect much and you won’t be disappointed,” was the common theme. But we already had expectations. We had four children, all-day wristbands for the 42-acre Pleasure Beach, and one of the longest roller-coasters in the world to go on. Plus the Blackpool Tower, Sealife, Madame Tussauds, the biggest adventure water park in Europe, a permanent circus, a zoo, three piers and more amusement arcades than you could possibly need. Shall I go on? Of course we had expectations.

We were staying at the Big Blue Hotel, right on the seafront, next to the theme park, in a family room, with adjoining doors, which gave the teens some privacy. The two tinies had a ship bunk bed in its own little blue alcove complete with in-the-wall TVs for both top and bottom bunks! It was perfect. Opting for some fresh air, we traipsed down the promenade trying to find somewhere that didn’t sell burgers or fish and chips, but soon gave up and realised resistance was futile. It’s fast food or nothing in Blackpool, so get with the carbs.

So first up – Saturday – a massive cooked breakfast and exit through the hotel’s private entrance into the Pleasure Beach theme park, to be first in the queue for the Pepsi Max Big One – at 235ft tall and reaching speeds of up to 85mph, this was the world’s tallest and fastest rollercoaster when it opened in 1994. My-oh-my. But once you were strapped in there was no going back.

I can’t remember much about it except I had a sore throat afterwards from screaming so hard (see picture) and it took half an hour to stretch out my hands because my knuckles were so white. Out-of-this-world.

Every other theme park I’ve ever been too paled into insignificance after that because everywhere you looked were new and exciting rides, and loads for all the kids to do. Nickelodeon Land, which opened last year, featured Dora The Explorer, Spongebob Squarepants and all the kids favourites, and didn’t hold back on the thrill factor. And as it’s cheap up north you didn’t get ripped off every time you needed something to eat. The kids pizza lunch was an £3.95 eat-as-much-as-you-want buffet for example. So it was with a heavy heart that we left the park to catch the 4pm Wild West circus, set in the famous Blackpool ballroom.

Good job we did though because it was the best circus we’ve ever seen and the children are still quoting the clown Mooky. Awe-inspiring and death-defying acts, acrobatics, jokes which had me crying with laughter, and the grande finale, a water-filled ring complete with boats and trapezes leaving our hearts in our mouths. Truly superb.

The obligatory 2p machines in the amusement arcades, some excellent fish & chips in the Coral Island chippy, a walk back along the beach, marvelling at the night life and the sheer number of hen and stag do’s, and bed.

Sunday – slightly harder to get up following all the excitement, but costumes on we were dragged off to Europe’s biggest water park, The Sandcastle, which boasts 22 slides and had the kids in raptures. To be honest, being surrounded by screaming children at 10am in a busy, chloriney, splashy, indoor pool isn’t my idea of heaven, but they LOVED it.

Then we grabbed one of the new trams, that run along the seafront and stopped outside the famous Blackpool Tower – an absolute must. First take in the 4D experience, complete with seagulls, sea spray, sheer drops and lots of squealing, from the safety of your cinema seats, and then up in the lift to the top of the tower where part of the floor is made of glass. My stomach was on the floor but the sheer views are staggering. Then we snuck off to Sealife where this time it was the children’s jaws on the floor as they walked through the glass tunnels as sharks and rays swam over their heads.

As we jumped in the car to head home despondently, I promised the kids ‘until next time’ because it was the only way to put the smiles back on their faces. So if you fancy some fun – you know where to go. Blackpool rocks.

* One night’s B&B at the Big Blue Hotel with Pleasure Beach Wristbands for one day starts from £175 based on two adults and two children under 12 years in a superior family room. See bigbluehotel.com or call 0871 222 4000.

Pleasure Beach wristbands are £32 for 12yrs+ and £27 for 11yrs and under. For online savings visit pleasurebeachresort.com For all other information go to visitblackpool.com