Crem 'fiasco' shocks family

Widow Ivy Ganter and her sister Doris Butler were horrified to find the ashes of relatives had been put in plastic bags instead of bronze urns they had asked for. Two urns were finally found but when the family reached the burial plot, the hole was not big enough.

The ceremony had to be abandoned and rearranged two days later. Now Oxford Crematorium has apologised to the family and admitted the affair was "a fiasco".

Mrs Ganter, 77, of Trinity Road, Headington, paid more than £2,000 to move the ashes of her husband, Reg, and mother Ellen Hubbard from separate plots to a private garden of remembrance.

Mrs Butler, 72, of Waynflete Road, Headington, who attended the ceremony with her husband John, 75, said: "The family was deeply shocked. My sister wanted to cry." Mrs Ganter had decided to pay for the ashes of her mother Ellen Hubbard, who died in 1967, and her husband Reg, who died in 1993, to be exhumed from separate plots at Oxford Crematorium and placed in a special tiny garden of remembrance together.

In life the three of them had been been best of friends. They had lived in the same house, gone on holiday together and had often depended on each other.always been there for each other.

In death, it seemed fitting that the three people who had been so close should be at each other's sides for eternity.

In the attractive garden, in a strip three feet long, there would be space for her own ashes, too, so that she could be close to the two people who meant so much to her when the time came. Buying the new plot and re-burying the ashes, as well as paying for her own cremation in advance, would cost more than £2,000 but Mrs Ganter, 77, of Trinity Road, Headington, Oxford, decided it would be worth it.

Then relatives would have no problems when it came to arranging her own funeral and the single site would have the added advantage of being more convenient for family members who would not have to trek round three separate plots to pay their respects.

Had she foreseen the problems that would occur she would probably have thought twice about going through with the process.

But when she made the plans last year, it all seemed perfect - she was shown bronze urns in which the ashes of her husband and mother were to be placed before being interred in the new plot together.

When the occasion arrived last Saturday, Ivy and her relatives decided the re-burial of the ashes should be carried out with the respect her loved ones deserved.

Eight family members made the journey to Oxford Crematorium tributes for the ceremony and Ivy took some roses to lay on the plot.

The farce that followed would have reduced them to laughter had the occasion had not been such a solemn and poignant one.

But under the circumstances the problems only succeeded in causing pain and suffering. The first shock to greet Ivy was when she stepped into the crematorium office and glimpsed the ashes of her loved ones in polythene bags instead of the urns they had intended. She said: "I looked in the box and saw the plastic bags and said 'what's going on? I was told they were going in urns. I said 'they're not going in like that'."

After a member of staff had found two urns, family members surrounded the small hole in the ground for the short service.

A female member of staff read a brief prayer. But to the family's horror the hole that had been dug was not big enough and one of the caskets stuck out above ground level.

Ivy said: "There was one hole and the urns weren't going to go into it. I said 'you cannot leave them like that'. The lady from the crematorium was terribly upset. I understand she was going to phone her husband and see if he could dig another hole.

"It seemed to be a situation where the left hand didn't know what the right hand was doing. I felt very tearful and upset.

"I feel let down. I wanted it to be something that the family would look back on. They'll remember it, but not for the right reasons."

In the end the ashes were covered with green fabric until they could be re-buried on Monday. Her sister Doris Butler, 72, who was present, said: "It was a fiasco. If it had not been such a sensitive occasion I would have laughed.

"Ivy thought it was going to be something to remember but it's only something we'll remember with a great deal of sorrow."

In a letter to Mrs Ganter, Oxford Crematorium's general manager, Paul Stubbs admitted that the occasion had been a "fiasco."

A letter of apology written to her on Monday stated: "Due to a misunderstanding between ourselves and the then memorial manager we were not instructed that the remains were to be reinterred in bronze urns.

"Hence the limited amount of space in the grave - we had assumed that polytainers were to be used."

The letter stated that "due to the complete disregard" of Mrs Ganter's instructions a deduction of £300 would be made from the amount to be paid, leaving a total invoice of £1,945.

A spokesman for the company Service Corporation International, which runs the crematorium, told the Oxford Mail: "I can only reiterate our apology."

He said the misunderstanding had arisen because a member of staff who was no longer with the company, had not left proper instructions.

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