Julian Fellowes, on whose snobby, solecism-laden Downton Abbey I have not squandered a single second of my life, has evidently been complaining about how unfair it is that his missus cannot succeed to her uncle’s earldom and become Countess Kitchener of Khartoum. Perhaps she might like instead to inherit another attribute originating with her famous soldier ancestor (pictured): the huge drooping moustache might suit her.

Actually, in one sense, this socially ambitious woman is not strictly speaking Fellowes’s ‘missus’ any more, recently having become Lady Fellowes as a consequence of his award of a life peerage.

Most people might consider that this is unfair too. When a woman is made a peer or a dame (the female equivalent of being knighted) her husband is not allowed to take a title — it would be ‘lord’ or ‘sir’ in his case — in the same way. This is blatant sexism.

But lots of sexism exists in the world of titles. Why is it, for instance, that all daughters of earls are allowed to call themselves Lady So-and-so, while sons (with the exception, usually, of the eldest) must content themselves with being merely Hons?

That Lady Fellowes should be thus styled is doubly annoying, because I can’t think of a single reason — can you? — why her hubby deserves to be a peer in the first place. A bit of undistinguished acting, a few film and telly scripts — how does this compare, say, with the huge achievements of the comedy writer David Croft, who died a couple of weeks ago, having climbed no higher up the honours ladder than a mere OBE? I expect Fellowes has influential friends.

Some clue to his preferment might lie in the fact that he is a prominent supporter of the Conservatives who has (Wikipedia says) donated £40,000 to the party since the election.

Except to satisfy the vanity of such as Lord and Lady F. and provide David Cameron and other politicos with the means to buy and reward loyalty — oh, and to bolster the monarchy, which stands at the pinnacle of this pile of nonsense — it is is hard to understand why the whole daft business of titles has survived into the 21st century.

It is observable that most people these days don’t know how to use them. Perhaps this shows a gratifying lack of respect for an outworn tradition. But those of us who do know (even if we don’t care) about titles can find a certain grim satisfaction in noting how often they are misused.

In last Saturday’s Daily Telegraph, for instance, the Countess of Wessex was described, both in a picture caption and a headline, as the Duchess of Wessex. This is an error that is very common, as anyone Googling “Duchess of Wessex” (with the inverted commas) will find.

I mentioned earlier how a man cannot share in a title belonging to, or acquired by his wife. With at least one Spanish title, however, this is different. Not least of the pleasures 60-year-old Alfonso Diez Carabantes will derive from his marriage yesterday to the 85-year-old Duchess of Alba (pictured) is that of becoming the Duke of Alba.

The duchess, by the way, is a distant kinswoman of the owner of Blenheim Palace. She descends from James II through his relationship with Arabella Churchill, the only sister of the 1st Duke of Marlborough.