The phrase peace on earth is richly bandied about over the festive season but it isn’t until the schools reopen that there’s any chance of quiet for mums.

That’s today, and I’m relishing the prospect of the term-time routine after the bombardment of toys during the holidays: yes, actual physical bombardment from a remote controlled helicopter and a giant tank in battle mode until I was polka-dotted with penny-sized bruises.

To gain respite from battery by small plastic bullets and save on batteries, I suggested the children play board games and bribed them to play Monopoly, possibly replicating corporate attitudes more accurately than certain multinationals would admit. It’s surely good to encourage entrepreneurial behaviour and I was pleased to see a brisk amicable trade in property based on, initially at least, sensible investment decisions.

It was a shock however to return to the room an hour later to find The Youngest shivering at the table in his pants – having run out of money, he’d remortgaged his houses and hotels, and then in desperation traded his clothes and was offering his services to The Middle One who, as the banker, had hedge-funded his bets and was striking a hard bargain.

The Middle One it seems is clearly my best hope for assuring future assets and I’m considering putting him in charge of family finances. As we head into 2013, our coffers mostly constitute a freezer full of cooked turkey and some ageing Stilton – which sadly aren’t accepted currency for winter fuel bills.

Throughout January, we’ll be hunkering down and ignoring enticing sales bursting from the TV screen: however much they might save us, they aren’t the path we’re choosing to financial redemption. I’m hoping traditional games will suffice for cheap entertainment although Connect 4 has taken some explaining to The Youngest because it requires neither wifi nor Bluetooth, and I’m worried the Jenga blocks will do further damage to the furniture. As a last resort if things get really tight, I’ll just play a time-honoured Chess-inspired move and pawn the children.

And that, until The Middle One negotiates their release, would generate true peace in the Browning household!