WITHOUT wishing to sound churlish, I thought my erstwhile friend and former office manager Charlie was bordering on the unkind when he said I resembled a passed-over extra from the old TV show, It Ain’t Half Hot Mum.

Seasoned viewers will remember this hilarious sitcom about a concert party in war -time Burma. Most of the characters wore shorts. I was similarly attired on Tuesday morning; knees exposed to the world, in a bid to stay cool. (I use this word’s original meaning and am not referring to demeanour.) Even Charlie had dispensed with a tie and his tank top.

I put his remarks down to envy. After all, as the saying goes, if you’ve got it, flaunt it. IF you’ll pardon the pun, lots of youthful enthusiasm was being poured into promoting a well-known brand of iced tea. The portico of the Westgate Centre was buzzing.

A delightful young woman offered a paper cup of the stuff. To refuse would have been rude; as it was my throat was parched. The tea was gone in seconds to be followed by my verbal recommendation. “Excellent!” I enthused, before turning to my hostess. “What do you think of it?”

She paused for a second before replying. “I’m not allowed to drink tea,” she confessed. SUDDENLY, generosity knew no bounds. Within minutes of the tea experience, I was handed a voucher from the purveyors of the Big Mac that entitled me to a lunch for less than £2. Yorkshiremen appreciate a bargain – and the place was just around the corner.

It was only when I joined the queue, already spilling on to pavement, I realised this was a new challenge. I hadn’t crossed the threshold of this or any similar company for years unless accompanied by one of my young grandsons. They know the ropes. “Find a table,” they instruct me.

The noise was at times deafening as parents and grandparents bargained with the youngsters to have some tomatoes, lettuce and some other vegetable rather than an extra portion of chips.

“Are you waiting for someone?” asked a harassed grandmother in charge of three impatient children when a gap suddenly opened up before me. The mad fool in me invited her to go first as I tried to decide what extras should accompany my bargain food. This was a mistake for two more parties cashed in and I was pushed back down the food chain.

Eventually a member of staff took pity and within seconds a bag of food was handed over. All I needed now was to find a seat…