QMy friend has been through the courts in relation to their child and they advised me that the court is biased towards the mother. Is this true?

AThis certainly is not the case in my experience. The court has a duty to all parties to look impartially at matters and assess cases on a case-by-case basis. Although the judge will, of course, consider all issues relating to the parents, the court’s “paramount” or first and primary consideration must always be the welfare of the child. In that sense, the court should not be biased towards one parent or the other, as the child is the main focus. Other agencies involved in the court process, such as the Court and Family Advisory Service (Cafcass) are also under a duty to remain impartial when producing a report or completing an assessment.

Q Me and my ex-partner are finding it difficult to make contact arrangements between ourselves as we always argue and, as a result, I am not seeing my daughter as much as I would like to. I do not really want to make an application to court but I do not see what other choice I have. Is there anything else I could do?

AIt is not uncommon for there to be a breakdown in communication following the breakdown of a relationship when emotions are understandably running high. However, there are a number of services that are available that could assist you both in working towards an amicable arrangement. If you have recently separated and either you or your ex-partner are finding it hard to move on, organisations such as Relate can offer counselling to assist you both with coming to terms with the ending of your relationship. This may help you to work through the issues that are currently causing barriers in communication. In Oxfordshire, another service you could access is Resolution’s Family Matters Service, which can assist you by meeting with both you and your ex-partner to discuss issues and try to iron out difficulties which are preventing you from agreeing to arrangements. This is a free service. Family mediators can also assist by helping you both to work through issues that are preventing you from reaching an agreement.

The law in relation to arrangements for children changed on April 22, 2014, making it compulsory for separated parents to attend a Mediation Intake and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) with a family mediator to try to resolve issues before making an application to court. Separated parents are therefore encouraged to explore and exhaust all other avenues and to see the court as a very last resort as often arrangements made between parents are far better than arrangements imposed on a family by way of a court order.

Children or Family Centres in your local area may also run courses or offer services which might help improve communication or assist you on sorting out arrangements.

Once you are in proceedings, there is the possibility of a referral to a Separated Parents Information Program (SPIP) that you could both attend separately in which you are given the tools to parent your children successfully as a separated couple.

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