EVER wondered why it’s been so many years since a single Conservative councillor represented Oxford on either the city or county councils?

Even though Tory gophers have been out knocking doors ahead of the June 4 elections, it appears the party has absolutely no idea about what makes people living in our great city tick.

To them cycling is odd. And cycling with children? Well, that’s odder still.

One man getting short shrift on the doorsteps is ‘Kaiser’ Keith Mitchell, right, the leader of Oxfordshire County Council.

Of one particular episode he said: “We hit the campaign trail in some numbers with canvassing in Wolvercote & Summertown.

“The door of a large and well appointed house in North Oxford opens and a well fed, well-paid and well-pensioned individual peers over horn-rimmed spectacles at the canvasser before him bearing that devil’s insignia – the blue rosette. ‘Conservative’, he says, in an imperious tone – NEVER, NEVER, NEVER and slams the door.

“I pick my way back along his path, past the tandem with two child seat extensions and past two new and well cleaned BMWs and on to another house – maybe someone with a real job.”

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Anyone seen Nanu Mitchell (no relation), the one-time Oxfordshire County Council Labour candidate for East Oxford?

Amid great fanfare, the prolific children’s author and former teacher was presented as something of a dream ticket with Saj Malik (the one-time Lib Dem councillor who defected to Labour).

But a glance at the ballot papers reveals she has been hastily replaced by a chap called Hussain Manzoor. Why?

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Twitchy county councillors on the campaign trail are getting a little peeved about being collared by their masters over the expenses scandal, The Insider is told.

What with the Parliamentary free-for-all and the Oxford Mail’s publication of county councillors’ expenses claims for the past four years, the public is rightly demanding explanations.

Apparently, householders have been increasingly asking “would you like to tell us about your expenses?”.

In a display of breathtaking arrogance, one county councillor described this question as “mindless stupidity of the connection of national politicians and local councillors”.

Interesting: Arrogance and aloofness – perhaps two of the reasons for widespread voter apathy?

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The Insider can barely take the tension ahead of what could be one of the most interesting and closely fought contests in years.

Yes, the final of Britain’s Got Talent, on Saturday, will provide something of a welcome break away from the election trail.

For what it is worth, our money is on Susan Boyle, the new Shirley Bassey, or should that be Burly Chassis?