Last week one of my friends had to make an emergency trip to A&E after an incident that will forever have him known among his friends, and no doubt his local Accident and Emergency department, for the next 100 years as ‘The Space Hopper Injury Guy’.

A need to protect his modesty prevents me from going into detail about the exact nature of the injury, but safe to say, a lot of people have asked him this week if he’s recently taken up horse riding.

His wife thinks she’s married the world’s unluckiest person because in the five years they’ve been together, she’s taken him to A&E six times. Although as we all laughed at his misfortune a little voice in my head reminded me I was once awarded the ‘accident of the year’ award at a staff Christmas party.

At the time I thought it was a little unfair; it’s not like I’m the first person on the planet to Superglue their eye together.

Mind you, as I flick through the highlights of my most spectacular accidents over the years, I’m starting to wonder if it would be wise to ever leave the house again.

At the age of 12, I fell down a hill, nearly broke an arm, needed a bunch of stitches, plus all the king’s horses and all the king’s men to put my knee back together again.

Aged 13, I fell off my bike and lost the edge of my left elbow. Nonetheless, it was a lucky escape.

Aged 14, I broke my left leg and tore ligaments in my ankle roller skating. A not-so-lucky escape.

Aged 17, I smashed a skateboard through a glass door, (fortunately, this time it was the dog that required A&E to repair a cut nose – not me).

Aged 18, I was bitten by a dog (a different one, not the previous one getting revenge).

Aged 20, I broke my left leg (again), although this time I snapped it in half and cracked my sternum.. (Clearly the severity of that injury made me more careful, because it took a while for the next major incident, but it was worth the wait ) Aged 30, I knocked myself out on a low doorway, and got whiplash and concussion Aged 31, (this is the good one) I Superglued my right eyelids together while trying to repair a broken key. (Take note: never use Superglue with gloves on; the tube may slip and flick glue up into your eye).

Aged 32, still on eyes, I got a black eye when accidentally hit in street by a man throwing his arms out (apparently he was describing something as being THIS big).

Aged 33, I sliced the front off my finger packing a bag for a weekend in New York (Note: US Border Security DON’T like being unable to take your fingerprints).

Aged 37, I slammed my thumb in the door of a car (requiring a trip to the doctor to punch a hole in my nail).

Aged 38, I stood on a coat hanger and ripped a hole in the bottom of my foot (another embarrassing trip to same doctor).

So what’s next?

(On my life, after writing the last line, I packed up my laptop, got off the bus and promptly tripped over).

Aged 39, I nearly broke my toe on the pavement...