THE backdrop was the History of Science Museum in Broad Street, not a choice I would have made bearing in mind what else was on offer within yards, but who was I to question the preferences of seven young camera-toting Chinese women?

I had dodged past, trying to avoid interrupting any views, when one of the party blocked my path and held out her camera. She smiled but said nothing. I thought she wanted me to take a picture of the group. But when I tried to take the camera, she drew back and shook her head while pointed at me and offered the camera once more. The confusion continued. The word ‘No’ and head shaking was the extent of their English vocabulary. My Chinese was less comprehensive.

After reviewing the situation, it appeared she wanted a picture of herself – with me. She handed the camera to a friend before nestling next to this manly chest and slipping an arm around my once-slim waist.

This was the start of it. There followed a series of similar photo shoots with all the women – they turned out to be music teachers – culminating in a group picture.

I was subjected to a few jeers from male students, but what do they say about a bird in the hand? Eat your heart out, George Clooney! Eventually we parted with much waving and bowing from all parties.

Watching this had been an old acquaintance, Jimmy, a long-retired college scout. He didn’t laugh; in fact he hardly smiled.

“Perhaps you were needed as proof of western capitalist decay,” said this latter-day Guardian-reading wit, “No-one could mistake you for the latest heartthrob.”

He could have put it more kindly.

WHEN was the last time you saw a reindeer in a dress on roller skates?

How often have you seen a shop assistant trying to round up a pack of battery-operated dogs and a frog, threatening to create chaos in a busy shopping area?

It happened on Tuesday in Westgate Centre, possibly the happiest place to work in the city at this time of year.

Youthful-looking mother-of-three Emma from Build a Bear Workshop was taking the roller-skated, battery-driven reindeer for walks among the shoppers. She smiled constantly as young and old stopped her, some of them patting the beast as if it was the real thing.

The dogs and the frog were keeping Mel busy and the customers happy in Hawkin’s Bazaar. “Life doesn’t get much better than this, does it?” she said, leaping over a cat in a paper bag that was rolling around at speed.

Meanwhile around the corner in The Discovery Store, Lucy was happy to explain the fighting tactics of radio-controlled beetles...